The importance of finding solitude as a young adult: the lost philosophy of finding peace, harmony, and contentment within oneself.

Hello everyone, 

In this week's article, I will be expanding on my thoughts from last week about the importance of finding solitude, especially as a young adult. It was during this process that I was able to figure out my true goals and aspirations, as well as find my unique purpose in life. I have fallen in love with the term “radical self maximization” and how it should be the overall goal for all of us. Radical self maximization is the idea of figuring out what makes you unique, what you are passionate about and enjoy putting energy into, and combining it with ways to positively impact other people and society as a whole. It is about realizing that each and every person has something unique, interesting and worthwhile to bring to the table, and sharing it with others in order to make the world a better place. That is the journey that I am on now and why I’ve started this blog - to document my process of radical self maximization, share my knowledge and experiences, and hopefully inspire others to try something similar. There is never a bad time to do some self reflection and introspection, in order to truly listen to yourself and hear what you have to say to yourself. This might sound weird and foreign to you, as it was to me as well at first. However, in taking enough time by yourself, you realize how many external factors influence your thought patterns, whether consciously or unconsciously. Modern life has become so fast paced and filled with distractions, it is rare to find opportunities and moments that allow us to achieve solitude. With this being the case, it makes it a bit harder to do so, but with enough willpower and dedication, anything is possible.

For myself the most significant moments on this journey came from travelling by myself to my native country of Hungary, twice over the last 3 years. The first trip was for one month, the second for 3 months, where I spent the majority of that time alone. Many people are afraid of being alone, which is a natural and understandable fear. Humans are social creatures and we love sharing our passions, ideas, love, and issues with those around us. However, most of our energy nowadays is drawn away not by other people, but external distractions- our phones, laptops, computers, TV, radio, etc. These devices are amazing forms of technology and help us in our day to day lives, but can also put us into a stranglehold without us even realizing. I myself and victim to this, even after becoming more and more self aware of the issue. The number one factor that limits the pursuit of solitude in my opinion is our phones. You’ve probably heard this more than enough times so I won't spend too much time talking about it, but our phones draw so much energy and attention away from ourselves, it is devastating. I’ll admit that I still sit on my phone too much, but have been making conscious decisions to limit that. The change I’ve made to my routine that has had the biggest positive impact is staying off my phone in the morning and before going to sleep. In years prior, I would wake up and immediately get onto my phone while still laying in bed. Whether it was catching up on texts from friends, looking at social media or other videos, I would usually spend anywhere between 10-30 minutes before even taking a step out of bed. Now I’ve changed that, and have a solid morning routine with both mental and physical exercises that get my mind and body ready for the day. After completing this routine, I check my phone and log into work, as I currently work and study remotely. Remote studying and work make staying away from technology basically impossible, but staying away from distracting factors is much easier. That is the first thing I would recommend you change in your daily life- staying off your phone in the morning. Instead, listen to what you have to say to yourself, rather than being immersed in other peoples’ actions, problems, or events. 

If you were to sit in an empty room, or outside in the forest or grass, with nothing to distract you for a few hours, how would you feel? If you don’t know the answer, try it out for yourself. Step outside and observe your surroundings. This is the most basic form of grounding, it sounds so simple because it is. Yet, its effectiveness in allowing our minds to wonder and think about things is unmatched. You won’t be interrupted by an external factor, unless it is forced upon you. You have the willpower and determination to do this, the only question is your desire. I believe everyone can benefit from a little more time to themselves. Another thing I have been doing, which might sounds absurd to some people, is driving in silence. Not all the time, but most. Listening to music is very relaxing and as a piano player, I absolutely love music. However, I came to the realization that I was playing music every second I was in the car, whether with other people or alone. Now I sometimes just drive in silence, listening to the road, the car, and my thoughts. Driving alone in silence is actually very meditative and peaceful, and your mind can wonder in unexpected ways. I am not saying you have to do these things every day, but take at least some action to limit the amount of distractions surrounding you and impacting your thought processes.

On my journey of finding solitude and peace within myself, I came up with the idea of starting this project- a platform to share my unique athletic experience and knowledge, combined with a focus on the mental aspect of personal growth, in order to document my process and show others what can be achieved when we truly want something and put our energy towards it. This process of finding myself was building up over the past few years, and really started when a close relationship with a significant other ended. I was not only not expecting this outcome, but had planned my near future and further times with the expectation we would do it together. Unfortunately this did not end up being the case, which caused me much pain and anguish for a long long time. I was not only feeling deeply lonely, but hopeless. It felt so weird and different to not have a sense of security, being, love, and dedication to another person. It took me a long time to figure out what to do with myself, which is where once again, I diverted to sports, athletics, and my hobbies that I love doing. These were the only things that kept me motivated to keep going, which is why I am so fond of them and am embarking on this project. After a long time, I was able to make peace with myself and realized that this too had happened for a reason, which taught me a very valuable lesson. I had ended a previous relationship a few years prior to this, except I was the one who didn’t deliver and communicate expectations, even in a worse way. This experience put that into a much better perspective and I realized even more so my wrong doings of the past. I have made it a priority to really focus on the present moment and not worry too much about the past or future, but our prior experiences and memories will always live with us whether we like it or not. Now that I reflect on these events, I am actually grateful that I went through them, because I would not have learned things about myself that I know now and would not be where I am today, with the opportunities that lay ahead of me. I am optimistic about the future, but am focused on living intently in each present moment, focusing my energy towards the things I find worthwhile.

If you are in a state of loneliness, or are the opposite and have countless friends and family and a strong social circle, I believe the ideology and practices of solitude can be beneficial to all. It is amazing what our minds have in store that we don’t know about, and what can be unlocked when we allow our minds to speak to us. Without all the external factors that influence our thought processes and decisions, this process can start to slowly take place. It takes practice, commitment, and a lot of focus, but it delivers a satisfaction I have not been able to find elsewhere. I am by no means at all a master on this, quite the opposite actually. I am still struggling to find that true peace and harmony, but am focused on working on it and making it marginally better on a day to day basis. 

This self journey of finding solitude I have embarked on also ties into my sports and athletic training. Up until this point in my life, I have always had a sport team or club around me to put my energy towards. I joined a swim team in the first grade, and then fell into a limitless amount of sports. I started diving, playing soccer, and had friends and like minded individuals around me my entire life. This was still the case up until my departure from the University of Delaware swim and dive team, which I absolutely loved being apart of and will cherish forever. However, after some time of working out alone, I realized I was dearly missing the camaraderie of a serious sports team and even more so the desire to compete at the highest level possible. These are the things that had driven me up until this point in my life, and during my self reflection and introspection practices, I realized how this component missing from my life was a huge problem. That is why I got seriously involved in endurance sports and bicycle racing. I had always loved riding bikes growing up and ran cross country and track throughout middle and high school. After graduating high school I was not focused on endurance sports, but that changed when I stopped diving. After doing my first bike race at Wilmington Grand Prix two years ago (May of 2023), I completely fell in love with the sport. The dedication and skill required to compete in it was mesmerizing to me, as well as both the physical and mental requirements needed. I had always been drawn to sports with a variety of skill sets needed to do them- both physical and mental, which is the reason I chose diving to be my main sport in high school and what I would pursue at the division 1 level. Diving required immense physical training and body control, but required even more from your mind. Bike racing is similar, especially in high level races. Everything feels so chaotic yet at utter peace at the same time, it is absolutely magical to me. Biking draws me so much into the present moment, and being on the brink of true danger is where I find the utmost fulfillment in my life. I also noticed how close knit everyone was in the bike community, how friendly and encouraging everyone was, and I knew right then this would be the sport I would dedicate the rest of my life towards. 

That brings me to the present day, where I have been working and training to become a stronger bike racer, but also grow as a person. Sport and athletics are my unique creative outlet where I can truly be myself, and there is no close second. I never would have come to this realization had it not been for finding solitude, and embarking on a journey to improve myself. I am in no means close to being finished, and never will be actually. I believe this process is something I will work towards for the rest of my life, and I am eager for what it will bring to me.